The Onion's Guide to Surviving Thanksgiving

Here's some wisdom from the Onion for getting through the day:

  • To keep your mother happy, seat her directly across from her one good child who actually did something with his life
  • Splurge and get the more expensive turkey; then, make sure to mention at least once an hour how you splurged and got the more expensive turkey

I guess I was guilty yesterday of bringing up twice that I bought the more expensive turkey. But did I mention that it was three times more expensive than the average bird. Too bad for my mom that my sister won't be sitting with us at the table tonight.

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h/t Daily Dish